Grieving the loss of a beloved pet is a deeply personal experience. As a pet guardian and dog trainer, I understand the immense bond between humans and their canine companions.
When I lost my main man, Cooper, to lymphoma, I began a grieving journey that allowed me to find solace and gratitude amidst the pain. I will share my experiences and coping mechanisms that helped me navigate the complex process of saying goodbye to Cooper, the biggest inspiration behind my dog training journey.
Whether you’re a dog trainer or a pet owner, I hope my journey can provide comfort and guidance to others during this challenging time.
Embracing the Gift of Time.
One aspect that I am truly grateful for is the time I had to prepare for Cooper’s departure. My grieving process began as soon as I learned about his lymphoma diagnosis. Although the vet estimated we had two months left, we only had three weeks in the end.
During this time, I channelled my energy into creating a bucket list for Cooper, starting in April and continuing into May. This helped me shift my focus away from my grief. It allowed me to be present and make more cherished memories with Cooper.
My heartfelt condolences go out to those who do not have the gift of time. I hope this blog post content can still provide solace. For those fortunate enough to still have their healthy dogs by their side, hold them tight as you enjoy many wonderful adventures together.
The Bucket List.
Creating the bucket list not only gave me a purpose but also prevented me from succumbing to the depths of despair. Engaging in meaningful activities with Cooper, such as going on extra adventures and cherishing special moments, provided comfort. It allowed me to make the most of our remaining time together.
The bucket list included a range of memorable experiences tailored to Cooper’s preferences and desires. It included indulging in human food items that he rarely had the chance to enjoy, as well as his all-time favourites. We enjoyed walking adventures, discovering new and as well revisiting pre-loved places. Booking in to return to our first-ever holiday destination and catching up with his human and dog mates.
Additionally, we accomplished milestones in his training journey. Completing his novice and intermediate trick training titles. This achievement brought us pride and earned me my dog trick training instructor’s accreditation.
We filled the bucket list with countless other meaningful experiences to enrich our borrowed time together.
Cooper did not get to complete all the items on his bucket list. So, Mojo and I finished most of the remaining items in Cooper’s honour.
"I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you; but instead I am deeply honoured
knowing you spent the rest of your life with me."
- Camille Marcotte
Storing Away Belongings Until the Right Time.
After his passing, I covered his crate – built in and makes up part of my entertainment unit – with a tablecloth.
Then, I gathered his treasured toys, dog training gear, leads, etc and putting them all in his suitcase and placing it in a cupboard. I still haven’t had the courage to go through these items yet.
However, I handpicked a few significant belongings, particularly those that still carried his scent, to hold tight and have near.
Creating a Symbolic Space.
I also created a small shrine on the bookshelf in my lounge room. Housing cherished items such as trinkets – a clump of hair, his collar, a rock I painted in his memory, etc. His Kelpie toy from the amazing Laura from The French Touch Goes Crafty – made in his image. A candle and ornament given by my beautiful Mumma Bear. Plus, some photos and his cremated remains. This is my space to honour Cooper’s memory.
Writing His Story.
I have found tremendous solace in documenting Cooper’s journey. I had already started writing of our time together and dog training journey months prior as part of my blogging process. Not realising that the journey was coming to its conclusion, this was a little bittersweet.
Documenting his life, from the moment he came into my life to the diagnosis and the last weeks of his life. And even now, this blog has provided a means for his spirit to endure within the written words. It is a way to honour our shared existence and organise my thoughts. And above all, a sincere hope that it may offer solace to others navigating their path of grief.
I liken this process to writing in a journal, and for those considering it, I want to emphasise that sharing it with others is not a requirement. Writing can be a personal and healing experience meant solely for your healing and growth. Embrace it in a way that feels authentic to you.
Treasured Reminders.
Revisiting our memories has played a vital role in my healing journey thus far. I went through all the photographs of Cooper. Reminiscing about our dog training journey, holidays, hiking adventures, walks with his friend – humans and dogs alike, helped remind me of the joy we had together.
In this process, I may have over-spent on wall art. Canvas prints and decor, so I could see him everywhere and have our best memories all around me.
Creative Healing.
Alongside the previous techniques, I incorporated art and music into the process. Painting creek rock for Cooper to honour his memory, which also sits among his bookshelf shrine.
And, crafting a Spotify playlist filled with sad songs to listen to when I needed to let my emotions flow freely aka ugly cry in a safe space.
"Until one has loved an animal, a part of one's soul remains unawakened."
- Anatole France.
Grief is Unique.
In grief, every individual, including pets if we have other animals in our home, is a unique journey. Losing a beloved pet is an immensely profound and personal experience. Healing is not bound by time constraints. It unfolds at its own pace. Honouring your process and tending to the well-being of your precious heart is paramount as we learn to accept that they are no longer here with us in physical form anymore.
The grieving process can often resemble the ebb and flow of ocean waves, with emotions crashing over us, receding, and then surging again.
Embracing Support Systems.
The invaluable support and understanding provided by friends, family and loyal furry companions proved both invaluable and essential.
Having Mojo and my kitty cats helped me stay present and not get so lost in my grief. If you don’t have other animals in your household, there is always the option to connect with friends and family pets, if it works for you.
Excellent resources, such as Bridy O’Sheedy’s Never Ending Love Story workshop, are available. There is also the option of end-of-life pet counsellors to support you during this process.
Alternative professional help is also available through some of the following (Australian) services if needed:
Beyondblue – 1300 224 636 (24 hours/7 days)
Lifeline – 131114 (24 hours/7 days)
Griefline – 1300 845 745 (12 noon–3 am/7 days)
Know you are not alone 💜.
For dog obedience training and behaviour modification services in Geelong, the Bellarine,
Surf Coast and Golden Plains regions, contact King’s K9 Dog Training.